How to talk to your partner about money

Money conversations don’t have to be heavy. A quick chat about how you both spend, save, or manage debt can help you build trust and plan for the future together. 

Whether you’ve been together for years or are just starting out, here’s how to make talking about money feel natural — not nerve-wracking. 

Why it’s worth talking about money early 

It’s tempting to steer clear of money chats, but keeping quiet can lead to bigger issues down the line — from hidden debt to clashing priorities. 

In fact, 72% of couples argue about money, yet less than half (48%) say they talk openly about their finances.  

Being open about your finances helps you: 

• Understand each other’s values and goals
• Avoid surprises about debt, credit, or spending habits
• Feel more secure when making joint decisions
• Tackle financial challenges as a team 

The earlier you start talking about money, the easier it becomes — and the stronger your sense of teamwork will be when life’s bigger decisions come up. 

How to start the conversation 

When you’re ready to bring it up, timing and tone make all the difference. These tips can help you keep things open, positive, and judgement-free. 

Pick the right moment 

Timing matters. Bringing up money in the middle of an argument (or when one of you is stressed) is unlikely to go well. Instead, choose a calm moment when you’re both relaxed — maybe when planning a trip, chatting about future plans, or sorting bills together. 

A few ideas: 

• Over a quiet dinner or walk
• During a chat about shared goals, like saving or moving in together
• When something money-related naturally comes up, like rent or holidays 

Keep it light. You could start with something simple like: “I know money can be awkward to talk about, but it might help us plan better if we chatted about it.” 

Start small and be honest 

You don’t have to share everything straight away — just open the door. Start with the basics, like: 

• How you each prefer to spend or save
• What your money priorities are (security, experiences, homeownership, etc.)
• How you were brought up around money — it often shapes how we handle it now 

It’s also worth being upfront about anything that could affect you both, like debts, irregular income, or credit issues. It’s not about oversharing — it’s about building trust. 

Avoid blame or comparison 

Everyone has different habits and comfort levels when it comes to money. The goal isn’t to decide who’s better with it — it’s to understand where each of you is coming from. 

Try to: 

• Use “we” instead of “you” (“How can we manage this together?”)
• Stay calm if your partner’s approach surprises you 
• Focus on shared goals instead of pointing out differences 

If one of you earns more or carries more debt, talk about what feels fair rather than equal. One in four couples (25%) argue about income differences, so it’s worth finding a balance that feels right for both of you. Fair might mean splitting bills by percentage instead of 50/50 or contributing in different ways. 

Set shared goals 

Once you understand each other’s money habits, start setting some goals together. They don’t have to be big — it could be saving for a trip, paying off a credit card, or building a small emergency fund. 

To make it work: 

• Agree what you’re working towards
• Decide how much each of you will contribute
• Check in regularly to see how it’s going (and celebrate progress) 

You could even try a shared budgeting app or savings account if it suits you both. 

Respect each other’s boundaries 

You don’t need to merge everything to have a healthy financial relationship. Some couples keep separate accounts, and that’s completely fine — it’s about what works for you. 

Be transparent about anything that affects you both (like joint bills or debts) but respect each other’s privacy elsewhere. If one of you prefers to keep certain finances separate, talk about why and find a balance you both feel comfortable with. 

When money causes tension 

Even the closest couples argue about money sometimes. If things get tense, it’s okay to pause and come back to it later. 

And if money worries are putting pressure on your relationship, it can help to talk to someone impartial. Free advice is available from: 

• MoneyHelper
• StepChange
• Citizens Advice 

They can help you look at your options and find a way forward without judgement. 

Make money talks a habit 

Try not to wait for problems before you talk about money. Make it part of normal life — just like chatting about plans or family stuff. 

That could mean: 

• A quick monthly check-in about bills, spending, or savings - doing this on payday can make it feel like a natural routine.
• Reviewing goals or big purchases together
• Being open about changes in income or priorities 

The more you talk about money, the easier it becomes — and the more confident you’ll both feel about handling it together. 

Keep the conversation going 

Knowing how to talk to your partner about money can strengthen your relationship and help you avoid misunderstandings. Keep things honest, calm, and judgement-free — and remember, you’re on the same side.